Restless

I'm feeling restless. Caught in the in between. I'm here and there. Overwhelmed with so many unknowns and all that has to be done. Trying to be in the present, but ready for new adventures. Trying not to be anxious and allow new moments to just be exciting instead of fearfully anticipating what's to come. So many emotions fill my heart with joy and excitement for the future, but also fear and sadness about goodbyes and not knowing what to expect of another big change in our lives. It's amazing how much can change in over two and a half years and how much I know I have changed. I'm grateful to be continuing to be made new. I thrive on change in some ways, but then I get impatient for it. Then when it comes I get nervous and feel anxiety setting in. Oh how my trust in the Lord still wavers. By now I could be so trusting God's direction and place He is taking us, but I still let fear creep in. I still wonder if He wants what is best for me...or maybe I just really want Him to do what I think is best for me. Some days are hard and confusing and today was one of those for me. I have so many feelings especially as a four on the enneagram. Way too many feelings sometimes, but I am trying to not always just go on them, but trust, wait and see what God has next for me. Easier said than done sometimes, but tomorrow is another day. Thankful for a fresh start each day and here's to hoping tomorrow I wake up with a better grip on what trust looks like and really remembering how to put things in God's hands, once again.